Feeling thankful <3

I got the greatest Christmas gift yesterday ❤ I had just sat down to dinner when my phone dinged, spam, but I had missed a text from my Aunt, “I want to see you” ❤ and a message from a cousin saying that she was trying to reach me. I was doubly surprised and excited that my Dad came too, even though he refused to come inside because he’s been sick (despite my insisting it was fine, I know he was trying to protect us). I didn’t care though and gave him a hug anyway since I never get sick anymore. Perhaps it’s morbid but it scares me that he’s at the age that every time I see him could be the last time I see him as he is now… my Grammy was about the same age when she had her stroke, my Grampa was just a bit older when he passed away and since she passed a couple years ago, (and then an old friend my age from school passed), it made me realize how badly I wanted to have better connections to my loved ones and how few people I have that are close to me. I have tried to visit my Dad (and everyone else for that matter) since then as much as I am able so that my boys have memories of them too, which was made all the more worth it when Rohan yelled “Grampa!” as soon as the door opened, so excited to see him that he forgot we call him “Pop Pop” now… Shawn never had that, he walked up to my Uncle once at about 4, thinking maybe it was him I meant when I suggested to him that “Grampa might like a hug” at my mom’s 50th Birthday party because we saw each other so rarely. My uncle was happy for the hug but it choked me up to realize he didn’t know his grandparents… so visiting has been a priority for me and it’s paying off for my kids ❤


Through some strange coincidence, I realized today that the text had come at about the same time as we received a knock on the door, it was the woman, (a stranger from the day before), who had given me a ride just as I was about to walk home the Christmas gifts provided by the Salvation Army (including the bicycle Shawn requested for his last year there, and the 20 pounds of food that they offered this year instead of the gift card they’ve done in the past). She had brought us a Christmas card with a $25 gift card to both Hannaford and Walmart saying she felt badly I had just given away the food I couldn’t carry, even though I had told her it was okay, it was actually all stuff that had gluten in it and I had given it to another mom who asked if I wanted the chicken as she wouldn’t use it so I was more than happy with the help we had gotten from them this year. I didn’t know about any of that until later when Derek told me she had stopped by, I started crying and told him I was going to hug him because I couldn’t hug her and he said “that works, because I hugged her!” ❤ It truly lifted my spirits more than she could possibly know and I just wish there was a way to tell her just how much it means to me, that she must have been placed in my life at that moment for a reason ❤


Nothing could top seeing my family for Christmas, though the $100 my Dad and stepmom brought was awesome too since I can put it towards repairing the car or maybe getting Xeno into the vet again as I am extremely worried he is going to lose his hearing. He has had an ear infection off and on for a year now, we keep treating it but it keeps coming back and his ear canal seems to be swollen shut 😞 The money helps a lot but I hate that they must feel like it’s all I need from them because they are always trying to help us. Though I am extremely grateful for the gift, I would have been just as thrilled if they had just come by to visit, actually come in and sit down to talk since we never really get to just visit but I know they were exhausted, they were probably at work all day like normal, so it just made me beyond happy to see them after so long so I was grateful for the few minutes I got to spend with them ❤


To top it off, I found Christmas cards for the boys from my Mom and stepdad in the mail I haven’t checked in weeks as well as one from my mother in law for all of us which all went in the tree until Christmas per tradition ❤ I had this strange urge this morning insisting on going to New Auburn so the boys and I headed over to drop off Shawn’s girlfriend’s Christmas gift we made for her. On the way back we were passing Rolly’s diner and I thought about my Grampa, we had gone there for a fundraising dinner, something he was always getting involved in, and just like that day there were crows *everywhere* in the trees behind them, we started around the corner of the building and I instantly realized why I felt pulled there; it was Grampa reaching out to me, on the other side was two Christmas trees, one pink, one purple, (just like his house to my Grammy’s dismay!) with pink flamingos on the highest peak ❤ Totally explained all the random electrical device issues and everything, Merry (early) Christmas Grammy and Grampa, and everyone still here, I hope it’s a great one ❤



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